Someone once told me ‘’ You can’t argue opinions. ‘’
Everyone kept asking me, why are you so cold all the time? We’re trying to be your friend. We want to be there for you. Listen, I’m not cold, I’m not mean – I’m scared. I’m scared of letting people in, I’m scared of letting my guard down and having only myself to blame for being so foolish to trust again, to walk in front and being stabbed in the back by someone you called a friend. I’m not being mean, the person who took my heart and squeezed all the love out was mean. I’m not cold, the person who stabbed me in the back was cold. I am who I am because of all of you, and honestly, it took me years to realize, I am a better person because of you.
Betrayal, the definitions are endless, however, mine is simple. Betrayal is purposely stabbing someone in the back. – AmyC
Summer 2009 had just ended and, I was so excited for high school. It was a fresh start, I could be anyone I wanted to be. I said goodbye to my middle school boyfriend, my sandy blonde hair, and I walked through those high school doors with a brand new look, brand new friends, and a fresh attitude -just kidding same attitude. Our school felt so much bigger than middle school, but my hometown population is 6,664 – so you can imagine how little my high school really was. Weeks went by, classes were chosen and I made way too many new friends. My mom almost went into an anxiety coma. My first year of high school was magical, it was like I was living the dream. Everything was exactly what you dream when you dream about your freshman year, that’s until I met Cassidy.
I remember Cassidy from middle school, she was a year ahead of me in school and I remember people telling me, when she was in grade 8th, she had to go to the hospital for what seemed like months, because she didn’t want to eat anymore, and if her mother forced-fed her she would throw up. It was such big news for a small town, it passed through the hallways for months. She was there tho, in my high school, with my friends. She became really close to one of my best friends, her name was Emma. She was my absolute best friend. I mean, I had just met her a year ago however, we were inseparable.
We had our close Best Friends but we were around 20 girls in our group – let’s just say, we weren’t all good friends. We would do these ‘’ girls day ‘’ every Friday after school, we would meet up with the girls at the only decent restaurant in town called Pizza Delight. Freshman year was the best. I grew closer to Cassidy, but still questioning her every move or decision. I was always that noisy kid who had a question for every answer – after all, I am a Libra. Cassidy had started dating this boy from outside of town. He was going to this bigger school in a bigger city. We all knew she was only going out with this guy to make her ex-boyfriend jealous, it was obvious because they had just broken up – but we stayed out of her business.
It’s Wednesday and it’s wing night at a local sports restaurant and everyone who’s anyone will be there, so I call up the girls to see what the plans are. We finally meet up at Pizza Delight, and all Cassidy can talk about is how she’s supposed to meet Cole’s parents.
- Cole is Cassidy’s new boyfriend from the bigger school. She’s going to meet his parents for the first time at cole’s hockey game on Friday night.
You can tell she’s nervous because her hands are all red and she’s just rambling, and then I hear her say my name. ‘’ Eeeeemerson? Are you listening?! ‘’ I get out of my daze and say ‘’ sorry what? ‘’ and she looks at me with a suspicious smile. ‘’ Can you please come with me on Friday? I don’t want to do this alone, and you’re so social, you can be the conversation starter. ‘’ Pretty please with a smile she finished. I exhale and say ‘’ Okay, Okay.’’ I gave her one condition, I didn’t want to be set up with anyone. She was a very sneaky person, always hiding her phone or whispering. ‘’ Do I make myself clear Cassidy? ‘’ I had just got out of a very controlling and long relationship – I wanted nothing to do with boys. She promises no set-up. All the group can talk about all week is the boys on Cole’s hockey team, and I check my Facebook messages and there he is – this handsome, broad shoulders kinda guy. He was like movie star handsome, no joke. His message is short and sweet, and just to be clear – I had sent a facebook friend request to approximately 36 guys from the bigger city. Why you ask? Because I was starting a new chapter in my life and I wanted to see who was out there, and honestly my eyes and other parts of me liked what was out there…
Justin: Hey, do I know you from somewhere?
Emerson: Heyy, I’m not sure. I don’t think so – sorry for the random add.
Justin: Oh no worries, where are you from?
Emerson: Oakfield, you?
Justin: Streil Ville. We’re not far from each other – I see we have mutual friends?
Emerson: Yeh, my friend’s boyfriend plays hockey with you right?
Emerson: Connor D.
Justin: Oh yeah we do play together, small world!
Emerson: Yeah, she’s actually dragging me to one of your games this Friday haha
Justin: No way, that’s awesome. I’ll see you there then 🙂
Emerson: See you there 🙂
It’s finally Friday, we paraded over to her house after school and started to pamper ourselves.
Cassidy was the kind of person you meet, and you’re like ‘’ Woah she’s different. ‘’ but she wasn’t different, she was unhappy with herself so badly that she tried to be someone different all the time, you never really know what she was going to do. Her parents gave her anything and everything she asked for, hence why she probably is the way she is. It looks like everyone is walking on seashells in that house. Most of the time she would lie, but we pitied her so we tiptoed around her issues and excused everything she did because she was ‘’ sick ‘’ but having an eating disorder doesn’t mean the world revolves around you.
Music is playing, clothes cover her bedroom floor and the bathroom smells like Bed Bath & Beyond. We’re doing typical girl stuff, and then I noticed her reflexion behind me in the mirror. She had gotten naked, got into the bathtub behind me and was shaving her pubes! I was so surprised, I almost dropped the straightener on the floor. I awkwardly look away and say ‘’ You could have warned me? ‘’ She replied ‘’ You’re a girl, I don’t care if you see me naked. ‘’ To me that was so strange – what if I don’t want to see you naked? Of course I had seen other girls naked before, but turning around to having your friend shaving her pubic hair in front of you was a little too much for me. I brushed it off because Cassidy was always a little stranger than everyone else, and to be fair Emma had warned me about Cassidy’s entire family, so I kinda prepared for the worst. We finally get to the game and Cassidy tells me that she and her boyfriend (whom I have never met) had planned a blind date for after the game. I’m so furious at this point, I want nothing to do with dating or the drama it brings at this point in my life. I’m very picky, and I’m kinda waiting for that blue-eyed prince charming to swoop in and sweep me off my feet, nonetheless I wanted the night to be over even before I had met this guy. We go up to the canteen where it’s warmer and his parents show up behind us and introduce themselves. Bubbly me, I start talking to them like we were friends. At some point Cassidy manages to whisk us away with the oldest excuse in the book, a pee getaway. We enter the tiny dark bathroom together and we start gossiping like we’re Serena and Blair. I calm the anxiety out of Cassidy and then I make a pit stop at the canteen because I can’t resist a crispy treat, let me ease your mind; it’s always a poutine. mhh
The hockey game finally ends, and I’m anxiously trying to look through all the guys helmets so see who they might have paired me with. Surprise ending, I don’t even fucking meet him at the hockey game. They escort me to Cole’s parents car, I obviously get stuck with the tiny middle seat that feels like you’re falling on someone’s lap every turn it takes. His parents start talking to me about school, and future plans and I love talking to people so clueless me I’m chatting them up until his mom says ‘’ I love your new girlfriend cole, Emerson is lovely. ‘’ I awkwardly laugh and say ‘’ I’m sorry, I’m not your son’s girlfriend, she is. ‘’ and I silently backup in my seat. Cassidy blurs out that they are setting me up on a blind date, and all of sudden everyone in the car is talking about how I might like him. I stubbornly stick to my statement that I am not interested. Cole’s mom then precedes to tell me that it’s maybe for a good thing, because apparently this guy has high standards. He’s never been in a serious relationship they tell me. I’m sitting silently rolling my eyes, and thinking ‘’ he seriously thinks he’s that much ?!’’ We finally get to this dudes house, we go up to the front door and all I can see is nude. NUDE. is he nude right now? I awkwardly blink like 15 times and then I realise he is shirtless and wearing nude colored gym shorts. WHO WEARS NUDE COLORED GYM SHORTS, and who answers the door shirtless.. I had already written douche-bag on his forehead. While he’s showing us to the family room, he puts his t-shirt on like nobody’s watching and casually says ‘’ sit anywhere.’’ I look around the room, there’s a 3-seater couch and one chair, you can be certain i’m fighting my way into the lonely chair in the corner. They decide to watch a movie, and it was pretty much the longest 2 hours of my life. I texted Emma and Lily the entire time, telling them everything that was happening. I think the only words we said was hello, and goodbye to each other but that was enough for me. Cole’s parents pick us up, and his mom instantly starts to ask about how it went, and all I say is ‘’ I’m never seeing him again, He looks like a major douche-bag ‘’ and Cole says ‘’ we tried ‘’laughingly. I get home to my amazing bed, start my show and fall asleep to Teen Wolf like it’s a lullaby. Mimi, my Yorkie wakes me up with her pitchy bark. I shush her, and check my Facebook to see what’s happening, and there it is.