Okay so first off, let me explain myself.
I’ve never EVER dieted in my entire life, I do not even know what the labels mean on food packages. How to calculate calories? I don’t even know if that’s a thing.
I was born 3 pounds 5 ounces, a preemie baby that was apparently a miracle. From what I’ve been told, my mother was told I wasn’t growing for reasons I still don’t know, and the doctor waited until I could possibly make it in the real world, which was 1 month early but I still only weighed 3 pounds so I was clearly not getting the nutrients I needed for some reason. I stayed in an incubator for the entire month, but even once I got out of the hospital I was still very small. My mother continues to tell me, I almost didn’t make it, understandably I was spoiled.
Growing up I could eat whenever and whatever I wanted for as long as I can remember. I didn’t like supper? I just made myself something else. Was I making myself something unhealthy? Probably. Growing up I literally loved eating Chef Boyardee, and Alphagetti LOVED that shit. Mini Pizza’s, Mr. Noodles, Gushers, Oreo’s, corn pops, I was a sugar eating machine. Oh, and I didn’t drink anything else but milk, 3% milk may I add. I drank only that until possibly 16 years of age but I was still always very small. I once had a teacher ask my mother if I had an eating disorder in 5th grade, and let’s just say my mother doesn’t take things lightly… She felt judged and her parent skills felt questioned.
I remember being bullied in school about it, I stood up for myself but it still stung. The more people were questioning my eating habits the more I felt I needed to prove I didn’t have some disorder until I figured out Who Fucking Cares what people think, but that was later, way later. I kept eating as much as I could in front of people, and lots of it too but surprisingly I wasn’t gaining any weight, zero.
I started having severe tummy aches in the mornings until I went to the doctor and she told me that I was drinking too much milk, and the wrong kind. So that was the end of my milk obsession, the only other thing I liked was water so I stuck to that.
My normal high school Eating Journal
7:00am – Bowl of corn pops, with grill cheese.
8:30am – 1 or 2 Warm cookie from the school cafeteria
10:00am – Bag of Baked Chips from the vending machine
11:30 am – Pizza Slice with 2 balls of Potatoes or Mcdonals.
2:15 pm – Bag of Crispers
3:30 pm – 2 Frozen Mini Pizza usually or some of my grandma’s meals
5:00 pm – Acadian Food, usually Potatoes, Roast Beef cooked in the oven, carrots
8:00pm – chocolate bar and some chips or crackers
Now thinking about what I would eat, I literally think to myself WHAT. THE. FUCK. but hey I’m still here and the same size may I add, literally, it’s been 7 years and I’m the exact same size. I still have clothes I use to wear back in high school and I happily fit in them, is this a bad thing? I have no idea.
I started eating healthier when I met my high school sweetheart Sam back in 2010, he grew up a little bit more structured than me so his eating habits we’re … better. He convinced me to stop eating can foods, and SO much junk and I started eating more carbs, veggies, fruits etc. It took about 3 years before I tried ” different ” food, some I liked, some I’m still working on. Breakfast is the main problem for me, I can’t manage to find something healthy that I like.
The only time I gained a couple pounds was when I started the gym for like 3 months, I gained weight but thinking back I think it was only muscle weight. So that’s kinda disappointing, but on the plus size, a lot of people tell me daily that they wished they were my size and eat whatever they’d like.
We all want what we do have right? Now I’m kinda confusing on eating healthier to feel better, but I still eat pizza and carbs, and all those yummy things, I just try to stay away from processed sugar. STILL TRYING, slowly but surely I’ll get there.
My New Year’s Resolution is to eat better and Exercise more, obviously just like everyone else. hehe